What it is to love

I kind of have a lot to say about what's been going on a lot in my mind and in my heart and in my life. Back in November, the Lord called me to go to Honduras to be a teacher at a bilingual school in a small town called La Union, Lempira. I knew God was taking me here with the intention of making a difference in kids' lives, but I had no clue it would be this challenging.

When you think of teaching kids, you have this idea in your mind that you are going to hit them with the truth and they are automatically going to grow up and be enlightened and be these perfect students, all because they were sitting quietly and listening to you speak and writing down everything you were saying... but that's far from what happens.

I teach 5th graders. Little did I know that I would have what teachers refer to as the "student from hell". One of the most difficult, disrespectful, misbehaved, loud-mouthed boys I've ever met. Not only is he rude to me and doesn't listen to me when I tell him to do something, he distracts the other kids by standing up and taking their things during class, he has his hands on the other students all the time, not to mention he and the "leader" of the class team up with 2 of their other punk friends in the class, and when they get to playing around and yelling and ignoring me, it is next to impossible to get any teaching done, which is a terrible learning environment. Then they say rude things under their breath and make fun of the way I talk or how I look. I have gone home and cried several times. I haven't done anything to deserve that! I have wanted to give up because it makes me feel worthless and it's a miserable experience for anybody to go through.

For the past year, I have lived by the notion to "love the unlovable". Every day I make the choice to be kind to people no matter who they were or what other people thought about them. I never dreamed it would be this difficult. Every time I am angry and emotionally worn out from dealing with the disrespect I get from my students, it's in these moments that I remember why I'm there. I came here to love on kids, and who better to love on than a kid with a troubled home life?? Every time I get down and feel like I'm not getting through to these kids, the Holy Spirit speaks to me and reminds me to keep pressing on. He never told me it was going to be a breeze, but each day I choose to love my students despite how they treat me. I look for the good in them, encourage them and tell them that they are worth something. I do this despite the disrespect because I know that the Lord is big, and when I am obedient to his calling, when I choose to love on the difficult ones, his work will get accomplished. Even when they are rude to me, I choose to be polite to them. I choose to encourage them to be better, because I know that Love can change anybody. If they learn nothing from my lessons, but they learn that they are loved by God and that they have self worth and are aware that I love them too, then my job is complete. THAT is what I came here to do.

My life as of 2015

So I've been living and teaching in Honduras since January of this year, and I must say, it has been the biggest learning experience I've ever been through. So much has change has happened to me internally and in my life. I have never been stretched, grown and challenged more than when I came here. Has it been difficult? Yes. Have I faced many annoying and difficult adversities? Heck yes. Have I been disrespected and so frustrated I've cried? Absolutely. But do I regret it? No way!

Since I've been here, I've learned to be more outspoken, I've learned to be less than a pushover, I've learned to stand up for myself and more assertive, I've learned to be less scared to do things on my own, my Spanish skills have sky rocketed, I've learned to rely on the Lord more, and the Lord has been able to prove himself more strongly than ever. I don't regret my decision because, looking back on my life had I stayed in the U.S., I would not be the person I am now. I'd be much weaker, lazier, and dumber. I was called here at a time when there was nothing left for me in the U.S. I was miserable because of a boy, I had a crap job, and then this comes along! It was at the lowest point in my life that I was called. I was called here to love on children who needed my love, and the Lord has used me for that exact purpose. I have learned forgiveness, patience (buckets full), how to be a woman of my word, and so much more that I never thought I had a problem with.

Even though it hasn't been easy living here, I have grown because of the difficulties. Every significant adversity that the Lord has brought me through has chipped off the person I was, only to bring out a much stronger, more beautiful Beth. As life here proceeds, everyday I feel myself being chipped away at and sculpted by the Lord in a way I know only he can do. I am by no means perfect, but I am constantly being worked on. 

I am absolutely in love with this country and I know the Lord is doing wonderful things in peoples' lives. The sad thing is, I see prayer needs every single day. From deforestation to kids needing emotional support because of stress at home, to watching poor little old women begging for food to the conditions of the buses we have to ride, this country is in desperate need of healing and revival.

Now I am reaching out to you, dear reader...

Ways you can contribute:

- Unfortunately, we are strapped for books and teaching supplies. Our computer lab is less than par and is always having problems. If you have books or Bibles you could spare to give away (preferably in English), ranging from 1st to 12th grade level, it would help us out immensely. Class sets of books are highly recommended also!

- There are kids here that are looking for sponsors to financially help them attend the school. Anything from buying their school supplies, paying for tuition or even buying them new shoes and uniforms. If you feel like the Lord is calling you to help out in a child's life, this is a way you can help a real life child in need (not like one of those depressing infomercials on tv). These kids are wonderful, but because of their circumstances, it's really difficult for most of them.

Ways you can pray:

-Pray for God's providence in this town. There are people struggling to make ends meet in this town working ridiculous hours, begging on the streets, praying day and night for their families and sending their kids to go to school to improve their quality of life and give them a future with more open doors.